As I attempted to write this last night, I didn't feel like it. I’d overextended myself considerably during the work week, and it can sometimes take me a while to recover. My nerves can feel frayed. And I'll feel like I have very little to say.
But even beyond that, doing personal tasks (Hi tax returns!), when they're not contractual career-related items, has often been difficult for me.
I've been contemplating laziness. What exactly is it, beyond the mild insult it's often used as? Where does it come from, and what should we do about it?
There's also the un-obvious but political question of whether we even need to "do" anything about laziness. In many current contexts, we are reduced to a system commodifying our humanity. We are seen as equivalent value as our 'outputs'.
Choosing not to 'do' then can be viewed as a conscious act of defiance. You are taking your power back. You are helping invalidate an imbalanced, extractive system. This is activism. Everyone has the right to rest.
(Note to self - congratulations on taking more leave this year)
But laziness isn't quite about resting or not glorifying hustle culture.
Sometimes, I find that I sit on my ass, not because of activism, but because I’m in a funk. ‘Lazy’, in these instances, is a cover up. It’s a type of inertia that keeps me from living a life of colour and enthusiasm.
The inner urge that makes one want to get up and do a thing, (especially when the item is joyous), is a self-honouring and loving instinct.
This instinct is still optimistic about people and places. It is curious, alive and expressive. It dreams. And it helps you act on them. It helps overcome the inner escapist wet blanket.
Growing up, I partly earned the title of an indolent. I was a non-traditional good student. My productivity ebbed and flowed. Because I sort off ‘performed’ in fits and starts. They'd say I'd reach my full potential if I had more discipline.
But the discipline seldom worked. Because discipline isn't the antidote to laziness. Enthusiasm is.
Enthusiasm causes a lightness of being, a giddy excitement for life. This is a nice feeling. We should seek to feel it often.
What can we do to cultivate enthusiasm?
According to my husband, Kartik, part of the answer lies in pouring ourselves into personal projects. For context, Kartik was already sixty years old when he was born, and therefore he often says wise things.
During the thick of the pandemic, two years after we met, I found myself with a lot of free time. Kartik asked me some tough questions about my hobbies. And I didn't have any hobbies to speak off.
This prompted me to wonder why that was the case, and I began experimenting with several different activities. I gardened, wrote, cooked, painted, tried to read, and watched movies I'd never seen before.
Here are my WIP rustic reflections on cultivating a personal project:
Choose an activity that is not related to your career. The purpose of a personal project is to make space for self-expression and creativity, not to embellish your resume.
Do something unfamiliar. You never know what you never tried. Our comfort zones can be inhibiting. We can sometimes spend years inhabiting the same 15 kilometer radius. It is good to leave it and do a scary thing.
Let your curiosity guide you, not a need to impress or achieve anything. Ask yourself questions like "What do I enjoy?", "What do I dislike?", "Do I care about this subject?", and "Does this activity feel good in my body?"
Expect to fail and don’t take it personally when you do. As a former tennis racket breaker, this one is especially big for me.
Keep your word, while not ‘should-ing’ on yourself. This takes practice, and if you keep it up, you can change your brain.
Find a community of people who share your interests. Join a club, attend a workshop, or find a group online. This can help you stay motivated. (Make sure the group is douchebag free and share your enthusiasm.)
And with that, I did the thing this week.
I hope that was somewhat fun for you, but if it wasn’t, I’ll still live. :D
Hahaha...I liked the last line. Since Covid I took up hobbies that were different from my work. But my enthusiasm acts like waves. What keeps me going is teeling myself that no matter what I wil try to be consistent with this activity. Having people who share the interest definitely helps though to push through at times. :)
Agree on the aspect that our human nature is found in the blank space between our survival and work. But disagree that enthusiasm is the antidote to procrastination. Enthusiasm is a fickle, feeble friend. It withers at that last minute or at the most critical moment.
Discipline is the only antidote to procrastination or "laziness" - but rejecting the emotional baggage around what we want to do is also important. Accepting that it is a challenge - being curious about it - and then finally understanding and accepting the baggage - is the only way forward - that's worked for me.
Not easy, and much easier said than done, but worth doing it. Kind of like moulting, the entire process is.